Two Presidents. Two Agendas.

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WE are the antidote to bullying.

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#DedicateYourNo-TrumpVote

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Acclaimed novelist Julianna Baggott wrote a simple Facebook post, dedicating her “No Trump Vote” to women who feel threatened. Within days, it had been shared over 1100 times. Read it here. The act of writing the dedication felt hopeful, and it seemed to have struck a chord. So Julianna and her husband David Scott decided to invite others to join her.

Add your story to the Dedicate Your No-Trump Vote. And read powerful essays by other acclaimed writers such as Pam Houston, Jodi Picoult, and more.

You can use the hashtag #DedicateYourNoTrumpVote or share the link to the web site — http://www.DedicateYourNoTrumpVote — if you’d like to spread the word.

Re-Defining Safety | PTSA

Notice anything about the message on the blue bookmark the principal and staff have been handing out? What do the first letters spell out?

This community safety tool was inspired one day when the principal, Staci Ross-Morrison, and the PTSA president, who happened to be Kristen Caven, were doing a round of school grounds. “I wish there were some way to get kids to think differently about the word “snitch,” said the principal. By the time they returned to the office, they had come up with a slogan that could put the word in a different light.

The bookmark provides, on one side, some concepts Caven discovered as an anti-bullying educator, like the difference between “tattling” and “telling” – and the importance of being an upstander. On the back side, it provides a list of resources that students, parents, and community members can use to anonymously report incidents, including important phone numbers and a link to the community safety boosters program.

The PTSA provided printing for 1000 of these bookmarks, which are shared and used to report safety issues such as drug use and criminal activity. The bookmark concept is designed to fight the “don’t snitch” culture that creates peer pressure for children to keep silent and let crime happen.

Oakland Tech’s neighbors are invited to help us protect the safety of our students. Additional bookmarks may be printed using the linked file below.

SNITCH bookmarks

via Re-Defining Safety | PTSA.

Taming the Troubled Brain


Raising kids is a demanding job. When we’re tired or stressed or don’t feel good, our emotions can get triggered and we can do things that can overpower and harm our children. Explosive outbursts – yelling and screaming, for example – frighten children. As a little girl, when my mother lost her temper, yelled, and punished us, it struck terror in my heart – and damaged the love, trust and connection. Later as a mother, when I lost my temper and yelled, I felt guilty. With explosive outbursts everyone feels bad—and kids can take it out by bullying others.

The important question to ask: how can we put the brakes on out-of-control emotions so they don’t explode and damage people? So we can model Zorgos skills to our kids? Let’s turn to brain science to learn why it’s so hard to harness our deepest reactive emotions, and learn two emotional management skills to help us keep our cool.

Brain Science

Deep inside the brain is the amygdala whose job it is to ensure survival. Like a guard dog, it’s always watching for danger and ready to immediately and intensely sound the alarm. Once triggered, the emotional brain floods our body with hormones and chemicals that compel us to fight, flee, or freeze. The amygdala packs an emotional—and physical—wallop, and hijacks the thinking part of the brain! Our stress system goes haywire on red alert. Unable to think straight, we may quite literally be “out of our minds.”

This also happens to children. A child who is experiencing emotional flooding cannot hear you, and cannot be reasonable. Logic does not work during a meltdown or tantrum, so don’t waste your breath. Instead, be patient. Calm yourself. Calm and soothe your child. Be present and connect. Later on, after the storm passes, you’ll be able to talk about what happened. (Adapted from The Bullying Antidote, p. 283)

A Six-Second Grace Period

The intense emotional reactions of the amygdala have a life-or-death urgency. They run ahead of the thinking (cognitive) brain by six seconds. After the alarm sounds, it takes the thinking brain time to activate, evaluate the situation, calm the freaked-out emotional brain and RESPOND. This takes restraint. Do your best to hold off the strong urge to REACT for six seconds. You can harness that strong knee-jerk reaction – the “power-assertive method” — that can harm your child and that you’ll probably regret.

Mindfulness slows down a knee-jerk reaction to a second-by-second awareness of what is going on, inserting a pause that changes impulsive reactions to thoughtful responses. —The Bullying Antidote, page 198

Forget Counting to Ten – EXHALE!

The parasympathetic nervous system quiets the amygdala and tilts body, brain, and mind toward a sense of safety and well-being. It is activated through big exhalations. When you experience the next upset, instead of counting to ten, take a big, deep inhalation, hold it, then exhale gradually while relaxing, focusing on exhaling completely. Do that three or more times. Deep exhalations can harness strong emotions and make time for the rational thinking brain to regain equanimity. So the next time your child is distressed, soothe and calm him/her by connecting, and encourage him/her to blow out the hard feelings.

These emotional management tools corroborated by brain science can restrain the upsetting feelings of parents and children alike. They can strengthen connections and help us move beyond bullying.

“Bullying simply does not have a chance to grow in a deeply developed culture of respect and caring.”
—Louise Hart & Kristen Caven, authors of The Bullying Antidote 

No one wants to raise a bully…or a victim. The Bullying Antidote provides clear guidance for parents who want to raise resilient and confident kids, and protect themselves from bullying dynamics as well.

“Congratulations on a fine achievement! …The Bullying Antidote focuses on solutions.”Dr. Laura Markham

Visit The Zorgos Project
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