The mayor of Oakland has proclaimed October 15th “Zorgos Day.” (You can read the proclamation here.) Here are some ways to celebrate it.
- Read a chapter of The Bullying Antidote with a friend or family member. Don’t have the book? The first three chapters and discussion questions for the whole book can be found here. There are good questions in every chapter!
- Look through the slides from our back-to-school presentation.
- Download “What to Do When…” and share with other parents.
- Talk with your kids, your friends, your parents. Draw pictures, write poems, talk about how you moved from picked-on to powerful. Maybe write an acrostic together! Share it with us.
- Check out all the great ideas and resources available right here in The Zorgos Reader!
Say you are coming to our Zorgos Day Everywhere Facebook Event! Share something!
Make every day a Zorgos Day!
Have you got some other good ideas? Let us know!
Here are some acrostics, or poetic treatments of the word Zorgos. Feel free to share… or add your own!
This one is part of The Bullying Antidote workshop, and was taught to parents at Frank Ogawa Plaza at this year’s Back to School Rally. Watch the video!
Who do you know who seems to have the superpower of “Zorgos?” Who calms heated arguments? Who raises people up? We all know someone who, when they are around, people rise up to their highest self.
Nominate someone for the 2017 Zorgos Awards! It could be someone you know—a teacher, a parent, a community leader. It could be someone you admire—a celebrity, an elected official. Or it could be someone who has really made a difference around creating safer, calmer cultures. Nominees will be honored at our Zorgos Day Celebration on October 15th.
Talk about Zorgos! Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche and his friends stood up for all women, all races, all religions, when confronting a bully on a train. He lost his life but he left this world with a full heart. His final words were “I want everyone on this train to know that I love them.”
His sister said “he was not a hero, he was a human.”
His family released this statement on Saturday afternoon:
“Taliesin Myrddin lived a joyous and full life. His enthusiasm was infectious. We lost him in a senseless act that brought close to home the insidious rift of prejudice and intolerance that is too familiar, too common. He was resolute in his conduct (and) respect of all people. In his final act of bravery, he held true to what he believed is the way forward. He will live in our hearts forever as the just, brave, loving, hilarious and beautiful soul he was. We ask that in honor of his memory, we use this tragedy as an opportunity for reflection and change. We choose love. Safe journey Taliesin. We love you.”
Read more at: Taliesin Meche’s Sister Speaks Out on Portland Stabbing
“The adolescent brain is like a car with no brakes.” At 14, Trisha Prabhu found a way to put the brakes on mean comments that tweens and teens write to their peers. Parents, insist your kids install this app! You are paying for the phone and this free app, which stops 93% of mean comments, can save lives by slowing down natural impulses to be mean online. Please share Trisha’s interviews on SharkTank & TED plus the link to the ReThink website with other parents.
ReThink is an award winning, non-intrusive, innovative, patent-pending
software product that effectively stops cyberbullying before the damage is done.
The world is currently in the midst of a technology revolution. There are 1.8 billion teens around the globe, and technology is in the hands of every adolescent. With more adolescents online, more are getting cyberbullied. Cyberbullied victims suffer from depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and more likely to drop out of school. Several solutions that are in place today address bullying after the damage is done. ReThink is the first ever solution to proactively prevent cyberbullying before the damage is done.
ReThink is conquering this silent pandemic one message at a time.
Here’s that website again! http://rethinkwords.com/
Doctor of Neuroscience David Rock has changed the way businesses think about managing the human needs of their employees. Understanding his SCARF model can also help us to understand our children and teens.
We all have basic needs that must be met for us to feel safe and well. But when we are feeling emotionally uncomfortable, it’s not always obvious what those needs are. The SCARF model of social needs by David Rock seems to be a very elegant way of exploring those needs. Here is a simple and intuitive description of the model:
STATUS – Your importance compared to others.
CERTAINTY – Predicting the future and anticipating change.
AUTONOMY – The sense of control over events, and the need to feel you have a choice.
RELATEDNESS – The sense of safety and belonging to a social group.
FAIRNESS – The fair exchanges between people.
If some of these areas are under threat, we experience an “away” feeling. If these needs are met, we experience a “towards” feeling. Watch your kids relate to peers, adults, information they receive from the world, and YOU, considering this model. The insights you receive will help you find ways to talk to them about what is going on, and how they can better get what they need.
The SCARF model | Dr. Cezar Danilevici
Read more: David Rock on Neuroscience, Leadership and the SCARF Model (Ed Batista)
This excerpt from The Bullying Antidote was recently published on ACEsConnection:
As we learned from the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study, negative childhood experiences are often kept secret, downplayed, or repressed because of our powerful desire to put such things behind us. Unfortunately, our minds and our brains don’t work that way. Patterns can play out automatically, no matter how hard we try to be original and create our own realities.Just as it is important to know family medical history (e.g., diabetes or tuberculosis) it is equally important to know about our social inheritance.What is your ancestry? What destructive patterns did your parents and grandparents overcome? Think back to your childhood, to how you were disciplined. What were the consequences in the short term? In the long term? There is a chilling quote from Time magazine essayist Lance Morrow, from his ACES-informed book, Heart: “Generations are boxes within boxes; inside my mother’s violence you find another box, which contains my grandfather’s violence, and inside that box (I suspect but do not know) you would find another box with some such black secret energy—stories within stories, receding in time.”
Punishment and Fear-Based Leadership
Authoritarian or autocratic leadership, the very strict style predominant in early 20th century European countries, was also the predominant style in the U.S. before the 1960s. Many families and subcultures in America still abide by this style. The primary goal of authoritarian parents is obedience; their tools are blame, shame, guilt, threats, force, and abuse. Their goal is to control, and their greatest tool is punishment.
Keep reading at: Parenting’s Troubled History | ACEsConnection
After 18 months of brutal campaigning, Americans are waking up to the distressing reality that the country is divided and many of its citizens are facing real danger with more on the way—the self-fulfilling prophecy of fear.
Bullying and trauma are deeply intertwined, and in urban environments and in the media our kids are seeing so much more trauma on a daily basis than ever before. So this seemed like a good time to share this great resource for parents. Because it can help us all, as well.
Five Things to Help our Children (and Ourselves) after a Traumatic Event (from Emotional Geographic)
First: Turn off your television. Do not reinforce the traumatic experience at the emotional or neurological level.
Second: Trauma shatters our experience of safety so we all seek some reassurance that our loved ones are okay, and we want to believe that this will never happen to us.
Third: Trauma shatters our sense of trust and stability. The antidote to this is to attend to your routines.
Fourth: One of the greatest antidotes to trauma and the experience of helplessness is to help. Be active. Reach out.
Fifth: Resolve each day to bring a little more light and a little more love.
Read the whole article at: Five Things to Help our Children (and Ourselves) after a Traumatic Event. — Emotional Geographic
Acclaimed novelist Julianna Baggott wrote a simple Facebook post, dedicating her “No Trump Vote” to women who feel threatened. Within days, it had been shared over 1100 times. Read it here. The act of writing the dedication felt hopeful, and it seemed to have struck a chord. So Julianna and her husband David Scott decided to invite others to join her.
Add your story to the Dedicate Your No-Trump Vote. And read powerful essays by other acclaimed writers such as Pam Houston, Jodi Picoult, and more.
You can use the hashtag #DedicateYourNoTrumpVote or share the link to the web site — http://www.DedicateYourNoTrumpVote — if you’d like to spread the word.