In this BBC report about school pressure and suicide, it comes clear how bad bullying is in one of the world’s most high-achieving countries.
According to the Japanese cabinet office, 1 September is historically the day the largest number of children under 18 have taken their own lives.
Between 1972 and 2013, of the 18,048 children who killed themselves, on average 92 did so on 31 August, 131 on 1 September and 94 on 2 September.
The numbers were also high in early April when the first semester begins in the Japanese school calendar.
On seeing the statistic earlier this month, Maho Kawai, a librarian in Kamakura, tweeted: “The second semester is almost upon us. If you are thinking of killing yourself because you hate school so much, why not come to us? We have comics and light novels.
“No-one would tell you off if you spend all day here. Remember us as your refuge if you’re thinking of choosing death over school in September.”
It was a controversial move for the library, which is part of the city’s education committee, not to encourage children to stay in school. The director of the library Takashi Kikuchi told the BBC that there was even talk of deleting the tweet.
But it touched many hearts and within 24 hours, it was retweeted more than 60,000 times.
Please listen to this wonderful two-hour interview with Kristen Caven about bullying from a spiritual perspective. Paula Thompson, Andre Radatus, and Christilyn Biek-Larson, the hosts of Cosmic Citizen Radio provide space and time for a wide-ranging conversation about every angle of this social problem.
It is a two-hour interview, but if you would like to drop in and listen for a few minutes, here is a guide to the key moments:
- 5:30 Interview begins
- 6:45 Kristen explains why bullying is NOT a subject near and dear to her heart.
- 10:00 What The Bullying Antidote is and how the book is structured – 3 parts
- 11:30 What bullying is and how we can understand it: bullying defined, the bullying dynamic.
- 14:50 Zorgos!
- 17:30 Racism, Terrorism… how we justify bullying with fear and confusion.
- 18:45 What’s in the news: “average citizen” shooter in Chattanooga has an abusive family; random racial beating by college students; Boko Haram uses child bombers; what bullying turns into.
- 22:00 What do we tolerate and what do we nurture? How the extreme fundamentalist, autocratic parenting style has swung to permissive style. Cultural support for and normalcy of bullying.
- 25:00 Three mainstream parenting practices that unknowingly nurture bullying dynamics.
- 27:30 ACES study
- 30:00 Long-term research on punishment in Sweden – the story of how one country changed its story, and how the US rates in UNICEF study.
- 34:00 Brain Science – we are wired for negativity and need to consciously work on positivity
- 35:00 No-spank laws and the Declaration on the Rights of the Child
- 39:00 How the US ranks nationally for childhood wellness
- 41:30 The great work being done in the US, in schools, to diminish bullying
- 43:45 Pre-school is key to protecting society from bullying & crime
- 44:30 How cooperative preschools create good culture; what to look for in schools in terms of bullying
- 47:00 <an enthusiastic plug for Pixar’s Inside Out!>
- 48:00 My Vision for World Domination…?
- 50:00 (How this book can help heal adult love relationships as well!)
- 53:00 Bullying is being mean! If we are compassionate to ourselves, we won’t hurt others/our kids.
- 54:00 Gandalf’s intention: “You! Shall! Not! Pass!” Great example of how to stand up against bullies.
- 56:00 How Paula’s daughter was bullied (note about handout at bottom of this page: https://zorgos.wordpress.com/discussion/)
- 1:03 Kristen’s response…pecking orders… when bullying begins… how schools respond…what bullying isn’t…testing…
- 1:08:30 How Kristen was a bully, and what her teacher did.
- 1:09:30 Christilyn on Halt and Catch Fire “faggot” locker scene – how sexual difference is a “protected” area for bullies
- 1:13 Kristen compares culture of gay bullying before legal Gay Marriage struggle to Nazi and Slavery propaganda that made killing Jews, enslaving blacks culturally/economically correct. Bringing injustice to light eliminates systemic discrimination.
- 1:16 good school rules – respect, no labeling
- 1:18 Dennis Leary quote: “My kid hates one thing: naps.” How racism and hatred are perpetuated.
- 1:19:45 Chrystilin on how teaching kids how to be obedient teaches them to accept social bullying
- 1:20:30 Fight, Flight, or Freeze question
- 1:21: Nazi generation victims of terrible parenting in Weimar Republic – children as “poison containers” – this mindset happening now. How a child’s brain chooses whether to develop survival- or growth- oriented neurons. Feminine perspective is “tend and befriend.” Kids learn there are other options to conflict.
- 1:28:30 The power of upstanders! Great stories about people with Zorgos who say “knock it off.” (bully guards, mean stinks, pink shirt day)
- 1:34 How one parent turned her child bully’s life around
- 1:36 Caller: a schoolteacher who sees systemic bullying. Thoughts on anti-bullying policies.
- 1:42 How to look at school bullying programs & policies
- 1:46 (shout-out to Oakland), and the importance of parents in supporting schools
- 1:50:30 Bullying is a human rights issue.
- 1:52:30 Don’t read The Bullying Antidote alone! The work of changing a culture cannot be done alone.
- 1:53 Quick look at Part 3 of the book – things you can learn.
- 1:57 parents are more powerful than we know! Parents could turn bullying around in one generation by teaching our kids Zorgos!